It was a whirlwind couple of days in Utah visiting our son at the RTC. He has now been there six months. When I get a little down about not having him at home, I think of all the fun he says he’s having and I feel much better. He is a real trooper and has gotten on board with working on “himself” in treatment. Our visits are important because they are another step in his progress towards returning home. Time allows us to repair our relationships, after some difficult years when he admittedly “pushed us away”. By the way, those are his words!
Our son was close to getting his Level 2 back, but it did not happen for this visit. Our days were spent together off campus from 9 am-9pm on Saturday and Sunday. We also had a few precious hours on our arrival day, Friday by going to an early Pizza dinner and making a few family phone calls.
Our time together was special. We ate some good food: Texas Roadhouse BBQ, Italian food at Oregano and a huge breakfast at the Black Bear Diner. We saw some good movies: “Ready Player One”, “The Greatest Showman” and “A Wrinkle in Time”. We talked about the themes in each of them and how the films affected us. Our sixteen year old liked the movie about video games the best (“Ready Player One”), which was not a surprise. I really liked “The Greatest Showman”, a musical about PT Barnum that had themes of inclusion and perseverance. My partner liked “A Wrinkle in Time” which made her very emotional after seeing it. “Love” was at the center of that movie. Funny how we project many things going on in our lives onto the movies we watch. There are universal languages in film.
Besides eating and watching movies, we also got a lot of exercise. One of our favorite hang-outs is the Provo Rec Center. We obtained a Day Pass for the three of us which cost a whopping total of $12! We ran together, swam and played pickleball. Our son led us in some weight room activities, too. It was just the perfect day for it, since the rain was pelting outside of the gym. This time we remembered to bring our own towels!
We also took a couple of fun hikes on trails we just happened upon: Box Canyon and some other trails on the way to Sundance. It gave us an opportunity to talk about some of our son’s past behaviors and get filled in on missing information from those non-communicative times in our past. We also talked about the future and what we “saw” happening in our lives together. We listened and learned more about each other. One thing that our son shared was how much he really liked going to “Wilderness”. He said he liked everything about it!
We enjoyed our time spent together. No, it’s not perfect. It still seemed like “pulling teeth” in some of conversations. Yet on the positive side, it was amazing to watch our son actually do homework in the back seat of the car as we drove around the Provo area. We loved looking at the houses in the different neighborhoods. We walked around the campus at BYU (Brigham Young University). We even found Donny Osmond’s street! Our son asked, “Who is Donny Osmond?” There is no short answer!
We also added a couple of things to the activity list that were new and unexpected: a visit to the Springville Art Museum was one of them. It was awesome with its many different galleries and exhibits. One that stood out, was the whimsical and socially charged gallery. Our son came alive when he viewed the many cool pieces of art by students and young people who stood up to old beliefs and negative times.
We also enjoyed checking out the Springville Library on the main street nearby. It was rather new, spacious and filled with lots of great seating and reading spaces. The exterior had a cool dome as part of its architecture. We had some fun experiencing new things as a family. As I’ve always said, “We vacation very well together”. A big step in our future will be how we translate that back into an everyday life. We aren’t rushing there quite yet. All in due time. One step at a time. One day at a time. One visit at a time.
We had a family meeting at the end of each day. We shared what worked and what didn’t. We shared things that we agreed upon and other things we did not. That was huge. I can always tell when we are headed in the right direction, if I just pay attention to how my “insides” feel. It was positive overall. It is slow going, but positive none the less. We are happy to share time together and can’t wait until the next visit planned for mid May. One final hug and our son was ready to get back to his life at the Ranch.
Thanks for reading. I appreciate your support. I can’t wait to share some exciting news in the next blog post. Stay tuned!