This past month has been a very exciting time for my 17 1/2 year old son! He has started a new program in a new area of Utah. This program is what is known as a “Step Down” program in the treatment world. It is a small co-ed, boarding prep school with only 37 total students and a place of many possibilities towards a bright future! Much of what he learned at his Residential Treatment Center (RTC) will be put to the test quite quickly! It will be a perfect place to practice!
We left the Ranch last week on a Thursday and drove down to Southern Utah with a car full of clothing, boots, binders and memories! The exact day and time of the departure was kept under wraps by the staff, as close to the last minute as possible, so the students keep participating and working on their issues. In my son’s case, he had a vague idea of when he would be leaving, but not the exact day and time. We challenged him to continue to put in the work, in what would be his final weeks of his almost 17 month stay. He was ready and we were ready! He had learned all that they could offer and succeeded in many aspects during his time there.
One of the biggest achievements was that he finished Geometry, and took his final test (a re-test) and passed with 100% on his next to last day! Days earlier he had only scored a 47% on that same exam. In fact he passed three tests during his last week, which helped quite a bit. He had been ready to give up and accept a half credit for the course just weeks prior. But we as parents and his therapist pushed him into getting the studying done! We told him that if he completed Geometry, he would never have to take that class again, ever! Geometry was not his favorite subject (and who can blame him for thinking that!) but he did get the job done and WOW you could see his pride and excitement when he told us all about it on his final day at the RTC. My son also shared he that decided to skip his team’s basketball game (his did have a sore wrist, but still getting off campus was always a treat) and so he hit the books in order to finish this daunting math class! It was one of the first times that he directly saw the pay-off for actually doing the difficult work! It was a huge accomplishment!
Another big moment for the kids leaving The Ranch is coming up with a “brand” and having it burned into the wall at the entry of the Administration Building and another on a take-away plaque to keep. There are so many unique symbols from every boy who had left prior to my son. It is considered a very special ritual and as we were landing at the Salt Lake City Airport, his therapist texted pictures to us. We would miss that moment in person, but would be able to participate in the “Goodbye Group” with his fellow students, many staff members and mentors.
There is a designated couch at one end of the main room where my son and the two of us sat. He spoke into a small hand held recording device and announced that it was his Goodbye Group, the date and then paused it, as he passed it to the first boy sitting to his right. They each turned on the recorder, introduced themselves and offered words of wisdom, encouragement or memories of my son and their joint time at The Ranch. Some spoke a short time, some a little longer, but all the messages were heartfelt and very thoughtful. The staff members all participated and added their advice and remarks to and about my son. Our son’s therapist had a couple of quotes that rang true as perfect advice for his future. One was from Mohammed Ali, though I can not recall what the quote was at present. My son will get a copy of all these special sentiments and will be able to listen to them later.
As the recorder was handed to me, I was overcome with emotions. I was going to miss this place, even though it was difficult having my son so far away from home. This place, that was a safe haven for my son. A place that gave him confidence in himself, where he took care of newborn calves, where he rode horses each week, where he did his own laundry, performed in the Parent Day’s Variety shows and succeeded in school! There were so many thoughts and memories swirling in my head, I had to focus on what I was going to say to him as my parting words from the RTC that was his home and school for over a year!
I turned the recorder on, and couldn’t speak. His therapist was quick to retrieve a box of Kleenex as I gathered myself. It was very silent and then tears began running down my cheeks. My first words were, “WAY TO GO!” You did it. It may have been longer than we all thought it would be, but YOU DID IT! I am proud of you. You stuck with the challenges, leveling up and then even leveling down. Participating in all sorts of therapy, more than anyone can even imagine! But what stood out to me was that your effort was there, even when it didn’t look like if from the outside! You wrote us weekly letters, even if they were mandatory assignments. I am so lucky to have a large stack of them. Yes, they were short and somewhat repetitive but they mattered! I looked so forward to receiving the scan of a new letter every Monday! If for some reason it came on a Tuesday, I was beside myself with anticipation of getting that letter. I was always happy to know that you were okay and were even having a good time!
I then told the boys in the room that their parents and loved ones really appreciated getting their letters, whether they realized it or not! My words to my son then returned back to a simple, yet important theme. I was proud of him, because he was present. I know that being away from home was not something he would have chosen. I know it was hard for him. But guess what, it was hard for me too, not having him home. And most importantly, his original goal (that he stated to the Admission’s person on his first day) was to repair and improve the communication and relationship with his moms. I believe as he does, that he accomplished that!
“You did it son! Way to go! I love you! I can’t wait to see what’s next for you and your future! I’m really excited for you! It’s now all up to you! And we are here for you and still have your back!”
The mic passed to my partner who said something awesome to him and I know he was listening from watching his facial expressions. The circle was complete. We then all went downstairs into the CafeA and had some delicious birthday cake that my son had made in the school’s kitchen, along with his therapist. There is a tradition (at the Ranch) of getting a cake on your birthday made with your favorite ingredients and that was true for me too: chocolate cake, chocolate icing with Reese’s peanut butter cups and Reese’s pieces all over the top! What a birthday I had! We said our last goodbyes and hit the road down to Southern Utah. The next day was going to be big! Entering the Step Down program where my son knew he needed be, for now.
In the car, we talked about our various memories of the Ranch and gave tribute to all those people who helped us along the way. We are all excited to see what’s next! Our journey continues….. Stay tuned!
I AM ONE FORTUNATE,
16 thoughts on “Goodbye RTC, Hello Step Down Program”
I am very happy for your family and the joy of seeing the progress your son has made. I wish our family had made a similar decision before it was too late.
Thanks Barbara! I appreciate your comments. One step at a time and one day at a time. WM
I’m so happy to read this!!! Big hugs to the three of you!!
Thanks Laurie! This is a big step towards independence! WM
I have tears in my eyes just reading about this experience. Thanks so much for sharing. I’m so pleased to hear all the good news about Luke and his accomplishments.
From one of your avid readers
Hi Christy – I had tears while writing it and editing it too! He is doing well, one week in! We had one phone call so far and another scheduled for tomorrow night! More to come! Thanks for being a avid reader!
My My, No words. Truly wonderful!
We are so grateful to Discovery Ranch and now have a great feeling about Mountain Springs! WM
You all did your part. So happy😘
Thanks Cindiferous- we are making progress! WM
Anne I cried and cried with you. Crying now.
What a grand Birthday and Moving on!
Pam- it was more emotional leaving the ranch than I ever thought it would be. Over the weekend I sent 14 thank you notes to all the important people who helped us there. The notes made me cry too. On to the next chapter! WM
I have loved reading your blog and feel so grateful that i met you and Luke on the parent day visits to Discovery Ranch. I am so glad to hear he is doing well in the next program. I am heading to DR for one more parent days next week on February 19th. I know there will be lots of new faces and there may not be anyone I know anymore there, but it’s nice knowing we are all in this journey together. I wish Luke well and look forward to reading your blog.
Margie- thanks so much for your comments and for reading the blog. Last week it was great to see Daniel for a quick moment as he and the boys were coming back from ropes and skiing at Sundance. He looks like he is ready for his next chapter. It will be sad not to be at Parent Days because they are so powerful and we connected with many awesome parents like you both. I would love to stay in touch and wish you nothing but the best. We all have worked hard! WM
hi what did you and your son think about Mountain Springs? i want to send my son there but am concerned its too small?
Hi Erika – Thanks for your questions. I thought Mountain Springs was valuable after his RTC (Discovery Ranch) 18 month stay to get some independence before coming home. He was at MS for 7 months and turned 18 during that time. He got his first job (at McDonald’s), finished his high school obligation by taking the CHSPE test for CA and passing, and getting his electronics back. He also wanted a place that was co-ed and small class sizes for the 1 semester he was in school. He liked the small size a lot. He was at MS with many boys from DR and made many new friends. He also went on the spring trip to Catalina and learned how to scuba dive for the trip. He did well there, but did isolate a bit toward the end of the program. He completed the MS Map Plan, about goals and behaviors, etc, so that was good. He has been home for 1 year now, and still speaks weekly to his off campus therapist, which is important. He is still doing well, though some old behaviors have come back into his life. I will be writing more about that very soon on my Warrior Mom blog. Let me know if you have any other questions. I am available to chat by phone as well. Good luck, Anne (Warrior Mom)